This team is very, very hard to watch right now.
The Detroit Pistons arrived in Phoenix ranked 20th in points per game (110.9), with their season-high scoring output at 130 points. They also ranked dead last in steals, averaging just 6.5 per game. But when teams face the Phoenix Suns, weaknesses often become strengths. It’s a troubling trend this season.
The Pistons had their best offensive performance of the season, putting up 133 points. And those steals? They more than doubled their average, recording 13 takeaways…their most on the year as well. The Suns turned the ball over 19 times, leading to a staggering 34 points for Detroit.
For the Suns, defense is optional. In the month of December, a month that has seen the team go 3-5, Phoenix has a defensive rating of 118.5. That’s 27th in the NBA. They’re just not good on that side of the floor. You can blame the injuries, you can blame the scene, you can blame the coaching, the motivation of the players, or the roster construction itself. Whatever it is, it’s depressing to watch.
Bright Side Baller Season Standings
We have a disturbing trend brewing in the Valley. When an iconic American singer-songwriter with a five-octave range starts winning your team’s ‘Player of the Game’ award, something is off. Deeply off. That’s exactly what’s been happening with the Bright Side Baller — our ceremonial nod to the best performance of the night — which, inexplicably, has been regularly claimed by none other than Mariah Carey.
This all reached a new low — or high, depending on your perspective — on Thursday night when the Suns dropped a lifeless game to the Indiana Pacers, falling to 9-6 at home. After the final buzzer, as fans shuffled out with a collective shrug of indifference, Mariah’s metaphorical nameplate was engraved on the Bright Side Baller trophy once again. I’m not even sure she knows.
One thing is clear: when Mariah Carey is your franchise’s most consistent contributor — at least in spirit — you’re not just in trouble. You’re in deep, whistle-register, five-octave trouble.
Bright Side Baller Nominees
I feel like I put in more effort writing this than they do on defense.
Kevin Durant
43 points (14-of-26, 4-of-9 3PT), 5 rebounds, 6 assists, 2 steals, 8 turnovers, -9 +/-
Bradley Beal
26 points (11-of-20, 3-of-6 3PT), 6 rebounds, 5 assists, 2 turnovers, -15 +/-
Tyus Jones
19 points (7-of-8, 3-of-3 3PT), 0 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 steal, 2 turnovers, -11+/-
Vote, if you must.